Welcome to Ratt Restorations
Turning bad furniture into nassty furniture.

"The Skinny" on Angie's Ratt Restorations

I HATE KENNY G! ...and I'll be damned if I'm gonna surround myself with the mild & mediocre furniture that one of his most devoted fans might own! BARF!

I WANT DRAMA! I want bookshelves that beg to house the likes of the Necronomicon or Kurt Vonnegut Jr. novels...NOT self-help instuctionals by Deepak Chopra or copies of Oprah magazine! I want tables whose sole purpose is NOT to display some corn-dog lamp from Ikea, but rather, glossy rock pictorials and cold beers.

If you're like me, you want furniture that's OOZING "attitude". Passionate, flashy, sometimes sleazy and unique people are my BEST customers.

So SCREW country charm, pot-pourri and "early settlement furniture" with ducks and flowers carved in their sides! (YAWN!). Give us rock, roll and exquisite doom!

This ain't no Chippendale...this is HIGH-END CLASSLESSNESS!

-Angie Ratt

In the tradition of old-school business, don't be afraid to *haggle and dicker over prices - I can work with you! After all, you WANT it, and I want to SELL IT! I insist on preserving a low-tech/hands on approach to selling my wares, so let's make a deal baby!

*If your offers, however, are RIDICULOUS, I will be forced to refer your ass to my assistant manager, "Lil' Morty!".